


I'll Be Fine In A Minute

by keeping_truth



Category: Lollipop Chainsaw, No More Heroes
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-28
Updated: 2012-06-28
Packaged: 2017-11-08 18:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/445938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keeping_truth/pseuds/keeping_truth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick is the only survivor in a land rife with zombies until he meets one aspiring assassin and makes a deal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Be Fine In A Minute

"It's like- ..everyone I have ever known, all the people I grew up with, are dead. Or at least the undead." Nick slid his hand up his face and through his hair, jostling perfect locks that had before then miraculously stayed neat, he licked his lips and met the eyes of the man sitting across from him. Or met where he thought the man's eyes were, instead he met the sheen of pink aviater sunglasses. "I mean, even Juliet is gone. How can Juliet be gone after all of thi-"

"So your girlfriend was number three." The man nodded, bouncing his knee under the table as he drummed his fingers against the lacqeured surface and looked around the poor excuse for a Mexican resturaunt. "Damn I'm hungry. Where the fuck is that waiter with my burritos."

"Thats all you can think about? Burritos?" Nick let out a hollow laugh and pressed his hands to either side of his head. "And-..and what do you mean Juliet was number three?"

"Uh, your girlfriend ranks number three- well used to rank number three in the United Assassin's Association." The man lifted his shoulders in a light shrug. "I guess you could say I have her spot now."

"You are crazy. Juliet wasn't-..isn't an assassin." Nick licked his lips and leaned back in the booth, the cheap faux leather squeaking with the movement.

"Ah." The man arched oddly shaped eyebrows, his glasses lifting with the small movement, and tipped his head toward the pink chainsaw leaning against the corner of the booth beside Nick. "Last school girl I saw with a weapon like that was ranked number eight." The man leaned forward. "Don't underestimate the people around you just on appearances. You'll get your ass handed to you, I promise."

"..She told me she was a zombie hunter. That's all."

The man snorted and shook his head. "And being an assassin sounds far fetched to you?"  
Nick rubbed his arm and chewed the inside of his cheek, suddenly lost for words. "So..You're an assassin too?"

The man nodded and impatiently started to bounce his knee faster. "Number three."

"Why haven't you killed me?"

The man completely stopped moving and leaned across the table, putting his face in Nick's. The close proximity made it even harder to see his eyes. "Are ya something worth killing?"

Nick quickly jerked his gaze away, missing the satisifed smirk that flickered across the man's features. "Thought not. I'm only going to kill those who are in my way to be number one. Do you plan on doing that?"

Nick shook his head away. "..No."

The man flashed him a toothy smile before practically cheering when a platter of burritos was brought to the table by a waiter whose uniform was borderline racist and stereotypical. 

"What are you going to do with me?"

The man stopped in his ravishing of the burritos and looked over at him. "You're the one that followed me here. I didn't make you come."

Nick swallowed and licked his quickly chappening lips again. "I don't have a home..or family..or friends anymore."

"So? I'm not an orphanage. Just go find someone else to join your pity party." The man took a large bite out of the corner of the burrito and let out an indecent groan. 

"Hey." Nick suddenly sat up in his seat. "I could be like your sidekick or something."

The man swallowed the impossible large mass of food and looked at him skeptically. "Sidekick?" He quickly shook his head. "Nah, I don't need one of those."

Nick chewed his bottom lip, quickly thinking. "How about what if I became your student, like your protege?" Nick grinned. "Yeah, yeah. Just like Juliet. She had a Sensei that taught her everything. You could totally be my Sensei."

The man stared at him then narrowed his eyes. "Did I hear you say Sensei?"

Nick slowly nodded, suddenly starting to think his suggestion was a bad idea. "Well yeah, Juliet's Sensei taught her in the ways of zombie fighting. You could be my Sensei and I don't know..teach me in the ways of assassinating or something."

The man slowly grinned. "Sensei Touchdown." He looked into space. "Yeah, that's definately sexy." 

"So you'll do it?" Nick sat on the edge of his seat. "Do we have a deal?"

The man studied him for a moment before slowly nodding. "I guess I could take you under my wing."

"Thank you so much Sen-" Nick paused, "Wait, what's your name again?"

"Travis Touchdown." The man picked up another impossibly large burrito, greasy beans dribbling onto the questionably clean platter. "Sensei Travis Touchdown."

And as Nick watched his new Sensei take another bite of the burrito that should probably choke a man, he realised that even though he would be starting another tiring journey, at least he wouldn't be bouncing against this guy's ass.


End file.
